Review: The Touch: A Supernatural Story

The Touch: A Supernatural Story by Robert Flynn III
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I received a copy of this book for free in exchange for an honest review. I can't recall why I requested it; maybe I went with the crowd (again) and went for the book many people wanted to read. From the literary point of view, it's quite a disaster. Do you think in complete sentences? I don't. But the characters in this book do. More than that, all the characters in this book think and talk in an absolutely unnatural, pretentious, and what's more, identical way. There's no way to distinguish between characters or thoughts from talk. There is also very little to go by when you try to decide if this book is fanatically religious or strongly anti-religious. Who would have thought that's even possible? It's certainly styled like a religious text, but the (hint of) ideas tells otherwise.

In any case, the blurb is very misleading. It's not a book about some struggling boy. It's more like a regular pandemic-themed book. A parasite spreads through the world; it's transmitted by touch; some people are more resistant than others, but it won't make a difference in the end. To better imagine this parasite think about ants and ant-controlling fungi that make them climb up to spread the spores. Just as those fungi, the parasite in question changes the behavior of its victims and creates multitudes of zombies. Pandemia, yay.

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Review: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lisa Mullarkey
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I'm so tired of all those translations from English to English. If a book is filled with unfamiliar and difficult words, maybe it's time to expand one's vocabulary, not to re-write the classics?

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Review: The Gospel of Loki

The Gospel of Loki by Joanne M. Harris
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Brilliant! Knowing the original myths almost by heart and recently dealing with Neil Gaiman's "re-telling" of them, that is exactly what I needed! It also proved to be a decent bed time story.

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Review: How to Write Better Book Reports

How to Write Better Book Reports by Elizabeth A. Ryan
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I picked up this book in preparation for my son's years in an American school: experience I don't have. And yes, it was so American :D Almost immediately I stumbled onto this gem: "...the best writing for young adults is by Edward Eager." Who? Oh, by the way, you "might also want to check out Ursula LeGuin." LOL. Of course I looked him up; turned out he's an American writer with a list of contemporary low fantasy for kids that I didn't find very special. Just the writer to place ahead of Ursula Le Guin, who's also American by the way. I wonder...

The book is written by a woman and, frankly, it feels like it's written to shape that stereotypical middle school girl, who gets all A's, very neat, and manages to graduate without actually learning a thing. Writing a book report mostly consists of making outlines and copying what you've written neatly several times. I especially liked the advice to "picture your audience": "With whom would you like to discuss your book? Your best friend?" Yeah. Right. We are still talking about students assigned to write a report, right? Let's face it, the only person who'll ever read it is the teacher who assigned it. So, picture your only audience, the teacher. Better be aware of it from the beginning.

The author somehow managed to reduce a book report to the level of "liked it/didn't like it" feeling at the end. Does that mean that American students are not taught literary analysis at all? Not taught to read deeper and get more from a book than a superficial feeling? Since I don't have the experience, I can't tell. But a whole chapter devoted to how to use a library must mean something. (It was also a mostly irrelevant chapter. Who looks through a paper catalog nowadays? But let's take into account when it was written.)

And taking one of the advises from the book and implementing it in this report... "This makes me think of..."

Smile as you think of how happy the hero and heroine will be together...

That line did make me think. How is that that all the books I read either have an unrealistic, forced, and absurd happy ending or a believable, relatable, and totally depressing they-all-died ending?

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Review: A Court of Frost and Starlight

A Court of Frost and Starlight by Sarah J. Maas
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

It all went pretty well, up to the page five, where this happened:

A year ago, I'd been stuffed into fine gowns and jewels, made to parade in front of a preening court who'd gawked at me like a prized breeding mare.

On the one hand, nothing special. On the other hand, for some time I couldn't stop thinking if prized breeding mares gawk. I just couldn't take this book seriously after that. Sorry. Waiting for the next installment. :D

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Review: Adventures of a Young Naturalist: The Zoo Quest Expeditions

Adventures of a Young Naturalist: The Zoo Quest Expeditions by David Attenborough
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

That was such a delight! Full of good humor; written in light, lacy, and very British prose - I could almost hear Sir David's familiar voice in every line. But older readers, be warned: this book may cause a few bouts of nostalgia, because it's brimming with romantic adventures (here, read "romantic adventures" as "poorly organized expeditions"). And though mine were never quite so dangerous, reading about them reminds me of recklessness I now miss.

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Review: The Ember Stone

The Ember Stone by Katrina Charman
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Minus one star right away for being written after the Guardians of Ga'Hoole and not even having pictures in color. But the Guardians of Ga'Hoole actually make biological sense, here, on the very first page, we are introduced to our hero, "a young barn owl" with a recognizable picture of a Barred Owl nearby. Come on guys, Tito and Stryx actually do look different. The leader of the owls is an obvious Great Horned Owl named Grey, but he sounds like a Screech Owl. Great Horned wouldn't be caught dead saying SCREE-EEE. And those tiger bats? More like tiger Pteranodons. Why not simply admit that there are still dinosauri around in this forest? The last straw for me was the firehawk itself, which is of course a phoenix, but apparently elementary school children are not supposed to know such words. I wonder how it wasn't "translated out" of Harry Potter.

The plot is just marvelous. If this book was written with 1st-3rd graders in mind, they were given a fabulous role model and a way to implement natural selection with a variety of tools. The book is just brimming with dangerous, stupid, and illogical behaviour of our young heroes. Very educational. Oh! I almost forgot! The Ember Stone is purple! Which of course makes so much sense semantically.

Two stars only because my first grader enjoyed it so much he even talked me into reading it.

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